Just reading through my journal tag and wondering why feelings are so fucked… Like I knew for a long time me and my ex were going to end but I stayed with the hopes it would be better. My dad phrased it pretty well. He said that I held on hoping that with a tiny bit more effort, he could be a pretty cool boyfriend. But he wasn’t willing to ever put in the effort. Some things just won’t ever get worked out in my head, or in my heart, and personally I don’t want them to be because I want him as far away as possible. Parts of me do miss the great guy he had the capability to be, which causes some emotional conflict, but I didn’t need any of that in a relationship. I’m looking forward to something so much better, and I’m just really happy I don’t have a guy on my ass right now. Well I do, but I think I’ve gotten rid of him for the most part. I just want to be a Lone Ranger for a while. The fact that he wants to jump out of this relationship into another one or just fuck a ton of girls tells me yup, the last year meant nothing, I meant nothing, and you sir are a royal shit head. I don’t dwell on this much, it’s just been on my mind lately and I had to write about it.